The God who gave you a heart also gave you a head. Use it! Feelings are not conclusive – they come and go, so go beyond your emotions and check things out before you commit to someone. There are four things you can do to avoid ‘blind L.O.V.E’.
L – Listen
Don’t make uninformed decisions about a person. If you are going to make a conclusive decision about someone you must learn about them, and one way to learn is to listen. Ask them pointed questions about things that matter to you and listen carefully to how they respond. Forget how lovely their eyes look for the moment and focus on what they are actually saying.
O – Observe
Somebody once said that ‘If love is blind, marriage is a real eye opener’. We often tend to look at someone through rose-tinted glasses before we are married; once we are married we pull out the magnifying glass and begin to scrutinise for faults. We should do the exact opposite. Carefully observe a person before you choose to marry them. Watch them in their natural habitat and around their friends and family. Watch how they respond to pressure and how they treat others. God makes it clear that we tend to look at the appearance but He looks at the heart. Ask Him to help you see as He sees.
V – Verify
Ronald Reagan famously said, ‘Trust, but verify.’ Get to know a person’s friends, family, and pastor – anyone who really knows them. Until then all you have is unsubstantiated testimony. There is a reason that bankers and employers ask for references. Introduce them to people who matter to you and be open to receiving counsel. It is pointless to gather unverified information about a person.
E – Express
Any person you have to pretend for will be a lifelong burden not a blessing. Open up and see how they respond. Share your faith, values, dreams and life story, and observe the feedback. Open up about your triumphs and failures and see how they react. Be yourself and see if this person values you as you are.
(Look out for my previous post, ‘Is love really blind?’)
P.S. Love is sharing! Someone you know needs this post. Pass it on.
