Being in a marriage where your spouse does not share your faith in Christ can sometimes be a difficult experience. If your faith is central to the way you live your life, not being able to share that with your spouse can be trying at times. More so, your love for your spouse will mean that you are concerned for his or her spiritual wellbeing. One of the greatest acts of love you can show to someone is praying for them and one of the most powerful things you can do for your marriage is to pray regularly for your spouse. You are the one person that loves your spouse more than anyone else in the world and if you don’t pray for them who will? You need to bear in mind that praying for your spouse without referring to God’s word is no more effective than wishful thinking. To pray effectively you need to be armed with God’s word. God’s promises are your guarantee for answered prayers. Don’t be random in your approach to prayer. Base your prayers on specific promises from God’s word and see His will unfold in your spouse’s life. Below is a guide on how to pray for your unsaved spouse with relevant scriptures.
Know that you are praying in line with God’s will
One of the most comforting scriptures to refer to when you’re praying for an unsaved person, especially your spouse, is 2 Peter 3:9. ‘The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.’ It is God’s will that your spouse finds salvation so when you are praying along these lines, you can be confident that you are praying in line with God’s will. God does not want your spouse to miss out on eternal life so He will continue to work to bring him or her to salvation. If you have been praying for your spouse for a long time, remember that God has not given up on them yet so neither should you. Because your spouse’s will is involved it might take a while because God will not override a person’s will. However, you can rest assured that God is able to manoeuvre your spouse into a position where he or she becomes willing to receive Christ, even if He has to give them a Paul-like experience!
Pray that your spouse’s heart will be turned towards God
You may look at your spouse’s lifestyle and be tempted to think that he or she is an impossible case. Jesus has touched people far more rebellious against Him than your spouse so rest assured that He is able to deliver on His promise. God specialises in softening hard hearts. Hear Him in Jeremiah 24:7. ‘I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.’ He goes further to say in Ezekiel 36:26, ‘I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.’ These are all scriptures you can claim for your spouse. Pray that God will change his or her heart so that they will have a desire to walk with the Lord.
Pray for God to send the right person to influence your spouse for Christ
It is frequently the case that unsaved spouses are more open to learning about God from someone else other than their spouse. You might say the same thing over and over without seemingly producing any response. Suddenly, someone else comes into your spouse’s life as a Christian witness and they are more open to receiving. This is why it is usually best to stick to praying for your spouse rather than preaching at them. Your spouse is more likely to be won over by your kind and godly conduct than by anything you say. If your spouse asks questions about your faith, by all means share Christ with them in a non-judgemental manner. However, there is usually something less threatening about a neutral person pointing out our need for a life-change than a spouse who knows all our faults. In Luke 10:2 Jesus says, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.’ Ask God to send someone into your spouse’s life who will lead them to Christ and will serve as a positive influence.
Pray that your conduct will be a positive influence
Don’t forget to pray for yourself, asking God to position you to be a help and not a hindrance to your spouse finding salvation. Ask God to help you relate with your spouse in a wise manner that reinforces the work of the Holy Spirit in his or her life. James 3:17-18 reminds us that ‘…the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.’ Being wise in your approach to your unsaved spouse is especially important when it is the husband who is unsaved. Any man will resist being told what to do by his wife which is why 1 Peter 3:1-4 makes it clear that a husband is more likely to be won ‘without a word’ from his wife. Men are more likely to respond to the silent witness of their wife’s godly life than nagging from her to change their ways. The Message version of that scripture puts it this way. ‘Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty.’ A kind, caring, non-judgemental attitude from his wife is the highest witness an unsaved man can experience. There is no point expecting your husband to act like a believer if he is not. Berating him for an ungodly lifestyle will do nothing to change him, and may even harden him. Remember, you cannot hold him to Christian standards of living until he actually accepts Christ.
Remind God that you’re trusting in Him
God is not depending on you to bring your spouse to salvation. He is quite capable of orchestrating that Himself. What He does need you to do is to bring the matter to Him and persist in intercession. No matter how hard your spouse’s heart is, God has a formula for softening it so don’t lose hope, even if it takes longer than you would have liked. Hear the words of Jeremiah 32:17, 26-27. ‘Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.’ ‘Then the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah: “I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?”’ Nothing is too hard for God – even your spouse’s salvation. Trust God, do not be discouraged and do not give up. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us in this respect. ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’ Do what you can do, pray and be at peace that God will do what only He can do.
If this has been helpful to you, please pass it on to someone else and leave me a comment on Facebook.
