As parents, we have the unique privilege of being the first point of connection that our children have with God. The years they spend with us are pivotal in their spiritual formation and can set them on a trajectory of a red-hot pursuit after God, if handled carefully. In my previous article, How to raise children who are God-chasers, I shared five tips for pointing our children in the direction of God. If you have not read that article yet, you can find it here. In this post, I share with you five further tips that have helped us in our family.
Seize teachable moments
Helping your children interpret life through the lens of God’s word is one of the most worthwhile investments you can make in their spiritual development. There are unique, teachable moments that present themselves daily as you interact with your children – maybe as they share with you about something that happened at school, as they comment on something on the television, or even when they ask you a direct question about life. Don’t let those golden moments pass without imparting some value into your child’s life. Children are like sponges, absorbing all the time, not just when you sit them down and say, ‘let’s talk’. In fact, they are more receptive to learning when they don’t know they are being taught, so seize every moment! Tune into their world, hear their hearts and respond appropriately. This is what I like to call situational impartation. God makes it clear how effective this is in Deuteronomy 11:19-21. ‘So let what I’m saying sink deeply into your hearts and souls. Do whatever it takes to remember what I’m telling you…Teach these things to your children. Talk about them when you’re sitting together in your home and when you’re walking together down the road. Make them the last thing you talk about before you go to bed and the first thing you talk about the next morning. That way you and your children will be blessed with long life…’ Children are always learning, so be intentional about continuous teaching.
Encourage them to use their gifts to serve God
Your child has unique gifts, placed in his or her life by God, for the benefit of others. You are in the best position to validate those gifts by encouraging your child to develop them and helping your child find avenues to use them to serve others. Their gift could be anything from singing, dancing, acting, to drawing, writing poems, speaking or encouraging others. There are also multiple opportunities for hands-on service in church and the local community which can help your child discover what their unique contribution is to our world. As they grow older they might be able to come up with ideas to raise funds for children in other parts of the world who are in need, help out in a Sunday school class of younger children, or even use their budding technical skills to help out in church. Sometime ago our daughter, Oyin, spent a couple of months baking cakes and selling them at school to raise money for, House of Wells, a beloved Christian charity doing amazing work among vulnerable children in South Africa. Support your child to express his or her gifts in God’s service.
Be vulnerable
Share your journey with God with your children. Today’s children are looking for authenticity. Your children already know you’re not perfect so don’t bother pretending to be. Don’t talk as if you always get it right with the things of God. Help them to learn from your mistakes and share what God’s grace has accomplished in your life. Tell them about how you have learnt to walk with God; the times you didn’t fully follow God’s instructions and what happened as a result, and how you have now learnt to follow the promptings of God. They will respect you for it, they will be able to avoid your mistakes and it will give them confidence in their own walk with God, even when they feel they have made mistakes.
Help them see the goodness of God
God is good and your children need to know that. Some parents make the mistake of painting a scary picture of a God who is out to catch their children when they do wrong, rather than the loving Father who is out to do them good. This misconception can put a child off God for life. If a child associates God with fear rather than love, the tendency will be to gravitate away from Him, not towards Him. Teach your children about God’s unconditional love and overflowing grace. Let them know that they can run to Him, even when they miss it, rather than running from Him. Testify of God’s goodness. Let your children know when God comes through for you. Show them that faith works. As they witness your prayers, let them witness the results as well.
Teach them generosity
Teach your children to be generous with their resources. Help them see that the sole purpose of life is to give, not to receive. We have always taught our children that you’re not truly blessed until you become a blessing, and we love to see them demonstrate generosity in their own way. Your children will take a cue from you when you model generosity. I learnt to tithe ten percent of my income, not from a pastor, but from my mother. Whenever she gave me pocket money or someone else gave me money, she reminded me than ten percent of it belonged to God. We do the same with our daughters because we want them to grow up knowing that everything they have comes from God and belongs to God.
I would love to hear from you. What practices have been helpful to you in developing your children spiritually? Share your thoughts with me on Facebook or Twitter and encourage someone else.
