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For Husbands Only: How to have a more sexual wife

Tomi Toluhi

Research has shown that 80% of men are more sexual than their wives. There are of course some women who have a stronger sex drive than their husbands and invariably counsellors tend to find that where this is the case, she is most likely to be an extrovert and he an introvert. If your wife is the one frequently chasing you for sex, you should get on your knees and sing ‘Hallelujah’ that God has blessed you that way. 80% of your brothers would happily swap places with you!

Today I want to focus on that 80%. Perhaps you got married with all sorts of dreams and expectations about the sizzling sex life you and the beloved wife of your youth would share and now, five years into marriage, your dreams are slowly fading away. If so, read on. Satisfying sex is crucial to the happiness of any marriage so today I want to give you a peek into what’s really going on with your wife.

Before we get into the detail, consider the fact that while the disparity in husband-wife sexual desires may seem like a recipe for disaster, in God’s infinite wisdom it is actually an invitation to a higher way of living that is less self-centred and more sacrificial. In God’s plan, you get more of what you want not by demanding it from your spouse but by giving your spouse more of what they want. God’s concept of love is absolute genius! Hold that thought in your mind as we explore the areas in which an awesome husband gives to his wife.

Recognition
Your wife will respond best when you give recognition to her uniqueness and celebrate it. 1 Peter 3:7 says something very insightful to husbands. ‘…you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation]’. The King James Version puts it this way, ‘… dwell with your wives according to knowledge…’ There are things you need to know about your wife that will make you a successful husband to her. God expects you to know and understand your wife thoroughly. Some men simply throw their hands in the air and say, ‘I don’t understand women’ but successful husbands see their wives as a fascinating, intriguing personality whom they really want to study and understand.

One of the things you are likely to discover when you study your wife is that what sex means to a woman is very different from what sex means to a man. Men are driven to seek sexual fulfilment primarily in response to a biological urge. Women experience sexual desire on a more emotional level. It is a savvy husband that understands that the impetus for his wife to desire sex with him is less physical and more emotional. A man’s sex drive is similar to hunger for food; it is constant, relentless and does not depend much on happenings around him. For most women, their sex drive is more latent; smouldering under the surface, and it takes a knowledgeable husband to know how to tap into those hidden desires in his wife.

Because a woman’s sex drive is not often hunger-driven, it can easily fall towards the bottom of her priority list unless she is inspired by an attentive husband. When a man pays attention to his wife, it puts her in touch with her sexual self and reminds her how important intimacy with her husband really is. A little attention from you can plant a longing for sex in your wife’s mind where she was not previously thinking about it. It amazes me that a husband can pay little attention to his wife all day long, neglect to tune in to her emotional needs when he comes home in the evening and expect her to be on fire at night. If you treat your wife that way consistently, all you will experience is wet wood…a little fizzle and definitely no fire!

Reconnection
Your wife is an emotional being and she needs you to connect with her emotionally every single day. When women connect with their husbands emotionally, they begin to feel more sexual. Emotional connections are not self sustaining. There needs to be an established rhythm for reconnecting with your wife daily. When you get home from work and your wife wants to know about your day and how you’re feeling, she is not trying to be nosy or to interrogate you. She is trying to reconnect with you. When she tries to share her feelings and frustrations with you at the end of the day, she is usually not looking to you for solutions; she is simply trying to reconnect with you. She wants you to see into her and she wants to see into you. That’s what intimacy means.

A husband who does not understand this will immediately go into problem solving mode and try to sort out her issues quickly so he can move on to other things. Your wife doesn’t need your answers; she needs your attention. She needs your ear, your empathy, your encouragement, not necessarily answers. This can be hard for many men because they are naturally problem solvers. Very often, all your wife needs is to feel heard and she instantly feels better, more alive emotionally and more interested sexually. A wise husband will not view his wife’s emotions as a nuisance; he will value them as a gift from God to add richness to his life.

Romance
Your wife needs to know that she is special to you. If you’re thinking, ‘Well, she should know; I wouldn’t have married her if she wasn’t special’ , you need to realise that in a woman’s mind, it doesn’t work that way. Your wife needs to be constantly reassured that you treasure her and she is your top priority after God. When a woman asks her husband to be more romantic, this is what she means. Romance tells her that she’s at the forefront of your mind and you value her. In the minds of some men, romance equals sex but in your wife’s mind that is not so. Romance is the little things you do to demonstrate to her that she is worth pursuing and your pursuit did not end when you got her to the altar. Think about the things that you did to gain her attention before you married her. Where has all of that gone? Some men treat their wives as if she was a project they had to accomplish but now that’s over they’ve moved on to other things. Loving your wife successfully is a lifelong project.

Being romantic with your wife gives her a sense of security and reassurance that you are committed to your union with her. May I also say that romance should not simply be a means to an end. If the only time you shower your wife with attention, say nice things to her or touch her is when you want sex, she will soon begin to view your attention as meaningless. Be loving with your wife just because you love her, not because you want something in return. When last did you and your wife do something fun together? Your wife wants to be your best friend and friends have fun together. If you always choose the company of your male buddies over your wife, you will drift apart because intimacy is based on shared experiences.

Rest
Men often seek sex to relieve their stress and relax. Conversely, most women need to be relaxed and feel rested to enjoy sex at its best. If your wife is constantly too tired for sex, have you considered that she might be overloaded? Women are natural care-givers and many women work as well as carrying the majority of the responsibility for caring for the home and children. If your wife is constantly working 18 hour days with no assistance, it should be no wonder that she has no energy left over for you at the end of the day. What can you do to lighten her load?

If a husband does not commit to helping his wife manage her time and energy, sex will just feel like another chore which she needs to tick off her to do list daily and it will become a burden. If he makes unrealistic demands of her and expects her to mother him and his children, manage the household, hold down a job or run a business, have a freshly cooked meal on the table every night without any assistance and still be full of energy for him at night, he does need to call himself to question. How many men can function under such relentless pressure? Many women are burning out and their husband’s don’t see the signs. Your wife is fully equipped to be your helpmeet but sometimes the helpmeet also needs some help! Caring for your wife’s wellbeing is your high calling as a husband. Ephesians 5:28-29 explains that a husband brings out the best in his wife by loving her like his own body, nourishing and cherishing her wholeheartedly. If your wife is drowning under a sea of responsibility, rescue her and see what that does for her libido! To a woman, there is something infinitely attractive about a man who will use his strength to protect her wellbeing.

Respect
Men thrive on respect and a wise wife will always show her husband the utmost respect. Similarly, your wife deserves your respect. Particularly, in this context, your wife will thrive when you respect her needs and desires. A great lover is one who listens. The best person to teach you how to please your wife sexually is your wife. If you try to love your wife sexually the way you feel she should be loved, the way your male friends say she should be loved or the way the media portrays, you will probably get it wrong most of the time. If your wife cannot communicate her needs to you for fear of how you will react, you are losing out. Don’t view it as an affront when your wife communicates what she needs. As you tune in to your wife’s needs, putting your desires aside to please her, you will be amazed at how she will bloom.

Closely connected with this is the need for you to respect your wife’s body. Women are incredibly sensitive about their bodies so if you make fun of your wife, point out that she is overweight or compare her with other women, she will quickly lose confidence in herself and her sexual desires will fly out of the window. Your wife should feel like she is the most beautiful woman in the world because of the respect you show her. If all of this sounds like hard work, remember that your aim is to have a more sexual wife. If you take to heart this advice from a woman’s perspective and practice it consistently and patiently, in time and you will reap the benefits of a happy, confident, more sexual wife. When she gets what she needs, you get what you want. I would say that’s a great deal!

Have your say. Please leave me a comment on Facebook or Twitter. It might help someone else.

A man is carrying a woman on his back and they are laughing.

Why Values in Marriage Matter

By Tomi Toluhi • December 18, 2024
Sharon was a God-loving, go-getting, hard-driving, ambitious woman with grand dreams of conquering the world. She had all her plans carefully laid out. She would own her own business by 35, hit her first million by 37, exponentially grow her business and by 40 she would branch out into real estate acquisition. Her ultimate goal was to make millions, not for herself, but to provide a better life for orphaned children in her community. She had felt the pain of being parent-less and passed from relative to relative with no real stability growing up. She knew what it felt like to go to bed hungry and cold. No child should ever have to go through what she went through growing up. She was determined to do everything in her power to rescue, nurture and care for as many orphans as she could. Mark was a stable, godly, focused man with the ministry on his mind. For as long as he could remember, he had always felt a divine call to be a missionary. Reaching unreached people-groups was his consuming passion. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he wanted to spend his life preaching, teaching and pastoring in an island community where no Christian church existed. He was committed to living among these forgotten people and reflecting the light and love of Jesus to them. Then Mark met Sharon. They fell in love, had a whirlwind courtship, got married…and reality struck. You can already tell where their story is heading. Wondering what became of Mark and Sharon? We will never find out because they are entirely fictional but their story illustrates a point which I have observed graphically playing out in some marriages. It is entirely possible to fall in love with someone who shares your Christian values but whose life values are wildly different from yours. Your values manifest in two different ways; what is right and what is wrong in your view, and what matters to you most. The dictionary supports this distinction in our understanding of values. Values could refer to the principles or standards of behaviour which you subscribe to, including your commitment to live by Biblical standards, but on the other hand values could equally refer to your judgement of what is important in life. Sometimes Christian singles are encouraged to pursue a relationship with someone because they are both Christians and want to please God with their lives, ignoring the fact that pleasing God means different things to different people. Your desire to please God will play out differently in your life compared to the person who sits next to you in Church on Sunday, based on your values. Your assignment is to find someone whose life values align closely to yours so that you can both stay true to your values in marriage. To some people, pleasing God simply means living a quiet life raising their families in a godly manner. Others want to go out in the marketplace, business, politics or academia and make a big difference as leaders. Yet others want to dedicate their lives fully to God’s work in some form of ministry, caring spiritually for a lost and dying world. None of these approaches is more noble than the next; they’re just different. What is right for one person may not be right for the other. It’s all a question of what matters to you and how God wired you internally. Amos 3:3 makes a succinct statement in this regard. “Do two people walk hand in hand if they aren’t going to the same place?” In other words, before you hitch your wagon to someone else’s vehicle, ask yourself “Are we heading in the same direction?” If someone is heading for Australia and the other person is heading for Austria, the destinations sound similar but the direction of travel for those two countries is completely different. The destination you intend to arrive will determine the route you choose to travel in life. If you get in the same vehicle with someone going in a different direction, one of three things will happen; you will arrive at your desired destination and they won’t, they will arrive at their desired destination and you won’t, or neither of you will arrive at your preferred destination. When people fall in love and emotions are running high, it’s easy to think that these things don’t matter, or that they will sort themselves out with time. Twenty years of counselling married couples suggests otherwise to me. When the music stops and the stars fall out of their eyes, reality collides with fantasy as they slowly come to terms with the fact that one or both of them will need to compromise on their values for the survival of their marriage, and compromise you must. If you are already married to someone whose values are diametrically opposed to yours, compromise is your only option because in God’s eyes the survival of your marriage has to take precedence over your closely held dreams. When I think about my life and the things that drive me daily, I realise how blessed I am to be married to a man who is driven by a similar impetus. He encourages me to fulfil God’s call for my life because it aligns with God’s call on His life. Our values are congruent. I shudder to think what my life would have been like if I had married a man who dances to the beat of a different drum. I would have had to lay aside all the possibilities before me to embrace a different future. It would have been a painful but inescapable compromise. Values are critical because they influence how you choose to spend your energy, where you invest your time and how you allocate your money. Consequently, if your values are fundamentally different from your spouse’s, you may love each other but you will not be able to enjoy living with each other until you have made deep and necessary compromises. There will be many fault-lines and potential battlegrounds where you will disagree and there will be no ‘right’ answer. If you want different things in life but you want to be in each other’s lives, something will have to give. You will either have to be faithful to your love or faithful to your values; the best marriages occur when you can be both at the same time.  If you’re considering getting married to someone, spend time exploring with them what their values are. Ask questions and read between the lines of every conversation, trying to sense what matters to them. Crucially, observe their lifestyle. A person’s values are more eloquently conveyed by the life they live than the words they speak. When you observe the trajectory of someone’s life, where they will land is predictable. An oak tree doesn’t become one overnight, but the leaves of the tiny seedling will tell you what it’s future holds. Ask…listen…observe, and above all else be prayerful.

Four Keys to Financial Unity in Marriage

By Tomi Toluhi • December 6, 2024
It is a well-known statistic that money consistently features as one of the top three triggers for a breakdown in marriages. It is therefore no surprise to me that my most-vi ewed video on Facebook so far relates to money. Money is not just notes and coins; it is such a powerful force that even Jesus acknowledged that the strongest competitor with God for human hearts and allegiance is money. Matthew 6:24 highlights this: ‘No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.’ Money means different things to different people and usually it is what money represents that couples fight over, rather than the money itself. To some, money signifies the opportunity to make a contribution to the lives of others; to others it represents status, the opportunity to gain control, respect, power, fame; to others it represents a world of options. Money in itself is amoral; it is neither good nor bad but it can promote either virtue or vice in the hands of a person. Having money really doesn’t change people; it simply reveals who we are, for good or bad. Nowhere is this more evident than in marriage. Money in itself is not the problem in marriage. It is simply a manifestation of the spirit of the marriage. Money brings out more of who you are. Your attitude to life is amplified by your money. Money will enable you to be more of who you are: selfish or generous, considerate or self-centred, trusting or suspicious. Rooting out unhealthy money attitudes and replacing them with healthy attitudes is one of the most important investments you can make in your marriage. Below are a number of steps you can take to set yourselves on a good financial footing in your marriage. Replace ‘me’ with ‘we’ Selfishness is one of the biggest triggers for money related conflicts in the marriage. The premise on which biblical marriage is based is covenant. Covenant means that you pool resources and liabilities; your strengths compensate for each other’s weaknesses. As long as there are walls of division between your finances, it is impossible to achieve true unity; you are not truly one until your money is one. This demands going beyond paying lip service to unity and actually seeing each other as financial partners. Marriage is not supposed to be run like two separate corporations under the same roof. This does not necessarily mean having joint accounts, but it means that both parties are aware of what is coming in and what is going out of the family. It also means that through continuous practice you have learnt to communicate effectively about money which leads to my second point. Stop keeping secrets Keeping financial secrets is never a good idea in marriage. The minute couples begin to hide pay rises, bank accounts, expenditure and debts from each other, disunity, division and distrust sets in. Every marriage needs a healthy balance between financial autonomy and financial accountability and you need to agree as a couple where that balance lies. As adults we all need a certain amount of discretionary spending money such that we don’t have to justify every little expense to our spouse. Depending on what your family income is, you need to agree as a couple how much you can spend without consulting each other. As a rule of thumb, major purchases should be a product of joint decision making, although what constitutes major in one family can be a minor expense in another. This is why dialogue is so crucial. In the words of Larry Burkett, the noted Christian author on finances, ‘Money is either the best or worst area of communication in a marriage’ . If you can’t trust each other financially, this is an issue that needs to be worked through with a counsellor or it will eat at the heart of your marriage and rob you of your sense of unity and oneness. Agree a budget and stick to it Where there is no budget, a business will perish and the same can be said for marriage. The downfall of many couples is the unwillingness to take an honest look from time to time at where their money is being spent and whether that represents good financial stewardship. Many Christians mistakenly believe that budgeting is a faithless exercise. Yet Jesus Himself taught the exact opposite. In Luke 14: 28-29 He states, ‘Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you.’ I find it instructive that Jesus assumes the wisdom of budgeting our resources should be obvious. Similarly, financial planning is a theme that runs through the entire book of Proverbs written by King Solomon, one of the wealthiest men who ever lived. The absence of a financial plan is evidence of the absence of a financial vision for your family. When you agree as a couple how you want to manage your finances from month to month, and what your long term goals are, a lot of stress and conflict can be eliminated from your marriage. Understand temperament differences The way we choose to spend our money is a reflection of our money-values. We spend on what we cherish. Usually couples have different money languages and this can be the start of many conflicts if not properly handled. In my article, ‘Why couples really fight over money’ , I explore in detail the four basic money languages and how they influence our spending patterns. Once you identify you and your partner’s money languages, that knowledge forms a basis for coming to a better of understanding of how to harmonise the two for the benefit of your family. There is often strength in diversity and your differences, when harnessed appropriately, can cease to be flash points and become foundational in building a stable financial future.

Know this for marriage success

By Tomi Toluhi • December 6, 2024
Many times people fail in marriage not because they don’t have what it takes but because they don’t know what it takes. You have what it takes to make your marriage successful but you must equip yourself with the right knowledge.

Here's Why Your Marriage will Work

By Tomi Toluhi • December 6, 2024
Your marriage has every chance of success. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It does not matter whose marriage you have seen fail or what the statistics say. Your marriage can absolutely succeed if you are both prepared to give it 100%.

Is Your Marriage Intimate?

By Tomi Toluhi • December 6, 2024
Are you cultivating closeness or distance in your marriage? You see, closeness is not a natural consequence of marriage. It takes work.
A woman is looking at herself in a mirror.

When Culture and Christianity Collide

By Tomi Toluhi • November 27, 2024
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you had to make a difficult choice between your culture and your Christianity? Do you ever feel like the ideas, customs, and norms you have grown up with are diametrically opposed to something you have just encountered in scripture? Welcome to the frontier where culture and Christianity clash on a daily basis in the lives of people who love God and are seeking to please Him.
Tomi and Martins Toluhi are walking down a path holding hands.

You Too Can Have a Long, Happy Marriage

By Tomi Toluhi • November 27, 2024
On 6 January 2018, my husband and I celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary. The time seems to have flown! I can vividly remember the evening of 10 January 1989, on our university campus, when he popped the question. I was only 18 and he was 22 going on 23. An improbable relationship. The statistical probability of such a youthful relationship working out was very low I would think. Furthermore, his proposal was followed by a 7-year courtship while I finished my first and second degrees in Architecture and he, having completed his Engineering degree, went off into the world of work. It was a long distance relationship for six years…another reason why it shouldn’t have worked, but it did! As I write this, on the day before our anniversary, I am seated on the balcony of our hotel room in Fuerteventura, the second largest of the Canary Islands with lots of sun, sea, glorious beaches and friendly locals willing to greet you with a lively ‘Hola!’ at every turn. I spent most of our flight over here thanking God for His faithfulness through the years and reflecting on how we made it this far…despite the odds. I have tried to distil the distinguishing characteristics of our relationship which helped us navigate through different seasons of life and still remain in love, so that I can share them with you, because I believe you can also have the beautiful marriage you dream of. Three factors readily come to mind: Clarity My husband and I always had clarity about what the relationship meant to both of us, from the start. His proposal was clear – ‘I love you and I want to marry you’ . There was no room for posturing or pretending; no ambiguity about his intentions. He was clear with what he was proposing; I was clear about what I was accepting. There was no ring, no fanfare, no frills – just absolute clarity. I am eternally grateful for that. I honestly believe that ambiguity is one of the greatest threats facing Christian relationships today. People drift into emotional relationships without a thought as to whether or not they can see themselves married to this person. I frequently receive mail from ladies agonising about the status of their relationship. ‘Are we in a relationship or are we not?’ ‘Does he love me or does he not?’ ‘We’ve been in a relationship for three years – how can I get him to commit?’ This sorry situation is not entirely the creation of men. Romantic fantasies fuelled by Hollywood are placing untold pressure on sincere, godly men who have to come up with some spectacular proposal and an exotic diamond ring to be considered serious by some ladies. Unless we return to basics and learn to establish clarity as early as possible in a relationship, we will not be able to recapture the beauty of fresh, unpretentious love. This continued cloud of ambiguity hanging over relationships seems to have led to an increase in opportunistic behaviour. People have no assurances about the future of a relationship so they focus on extracting short term rewards. There are women who expect the men in their lives to meet their every financial need, even if there’s no promise of a future together. Then there are men who seek a woman to take care of them with no strings attached. In my view, it’s unfair to place expectations on a person without a commitment to that person. To seek to dominate a person’s focus, time and attention without a commensurate commitment to them is unjust. To monopolise a person’s affections with no interest in making a lifelong commitment to them is questionable at best. If you drag out the process of relating closely to someone you will find that you slide into an emotional relationship by default rather than choosing that person deliberately. Two years is a very long time in the life of a person – especially a woman of marriageable age. If it has taken you an entire year to agonise over whether a person is meant to be in your life or not, it’s either that you have poor spiritual instincts or you are trying to persuade yourself that what is not, is. A third option might be that you are fear-driven and seeking a perfect person or perfect conditions before you make a commitment. Commitment Once you have clarity about your relationship, back it up with commitment. Commitment means you burn the bridges behind you, you exclude distractions, and you focus on building this one relationship. If your relationship fails before you make it to the altar, it should not be because you got carried away by distractions from without. It should only be because you discovered something from within that meant that your relationship was no longer tenable. For many Christian couples, dating has become the grey area where they claim the privileges of an exclusive relationship while shopping around for better prospects. When you are committed, you have a different perspective that sets you up for success in your relationship. Because you are single-minded, your relationship will weather the inevitable storms better. I had many proposals before and after my husband but once my choice was made, I was so focused on making the relationship work that every other distraction faded into oblivion. He had many opportunities to be distracted after he left me in school and went off to work, but his commitment kept him. That’s why I trust him implicitly today. Cultivating this committed mindset is what will protect the integrity of your marriage in the future. There will always be someone prettier, more handsome, smarter, funnier, richer, if your eyes are roaming. If your eyes are focused you will see none of that. As long as you persist in the searching mindset, you will continue to experience dissatisfaction in your current relationship because you will constantly be making comparisons between the person you have chosen and others you encounter along the way. Comparison sows the seeds of dissatisfaction in a relationship and sets you up for comparison in marriage. Commitment requires a faithful heart. That’s what you should cultivate and that’s what you should look for in a potential spouse. If every time you turn your back your fiancé or fiancée is cultivating side relationships which compete with your relationship, he or she may struggle with commitment even after marriage. Exclusivity should be a given in any committed relationship. You protect the exclusivity of your relationship by announcing it frequently, guarding your heart diligently and disconnecting from people who threaten the integrity of your relationship. Any friends you both have should be left in no doubt that your fiancé or fiancée comes first and you’re not open to alternative advances or proposals. Curiosity A hunger to learn is an indispensable asset in a relationship. Healthy curiosity means you have a willingness to challenge the norms and discover new things about the person you love, and what makes them happy. Never assume that you know all that it takes to build a successful marriage. The moment you lose your curiosity, you lose your edge. I am always amazed at the audacity of couples heading towards marriage who have never taken the time to study what it takes to bring out the best in their spouse. 1 Peter 3:7 encourages husband to ‘dwell with their wives according to knowledge.’ This is a great maxim for all marriage partners to live by. I have always had a fascination with marriage and what makes it work. My husband is an equally curious person so we have both spent time over the years to open our hearts and minds to ideas that will help us be better lovers of each other. From the inception of our relationship we read marriage books together and we listened to teachings from relationship experts. That attitude persists till today, even though we’ve been happily married for 22 years. Be driven in your pursuit of knowledge that will help you understand your spouse better. As your spouse evolves and your marriage grows, your spouse’s needs will change as well. Different seasons of life present different challenges and opportunities. Your knowledge base and your understanding of your spouse should be growing, otherwise your marriage will grow stale. The fact that you understood your spouse five years ago is no guarantee that you understand them now, if you don’t maintain your curiosity and tune in to truly see and understand what their current needs are. Study your wife or husband. What makes them unique? What makes them tick? How can you bring out the best in them? Ask them questions that demonstrate that you truly want to understand and love them better with each passing year. When we are old and grey, I can picture my husband and I, hand in hand, listening, leaning in, learning and growing. I pray the same for you.

Are you Marriage Ready?

By Tomi Toluhi • October 22, 2024
Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires more than dreams and high hopes—it demands preparation, wisdom, and practical skills. Many enter marriage unprepared, only to face challenges that could have been avoided with intentional effort beforehand. Preparation is key to building a strong foundation, aligning your expectations, and equipping yourself for the journey ahead. Have you taken the time to learn what the Bible says about marriage? Are you growing in the skills and understanding needed to thrive as a partner? The effort you invest now reflects the value you place on your future marriage and positions you for lasting success when the opportunity arises.

Is your Spouse your Dream-Maker?

By Tomi Toluhi • October 16, 2024
Is your spouse your dream maker or your debtor? For many couples, somewhere between ‘I do’ and your first marital argument your desires have transitioned from the realm of dreams and crystallised into expectations. ‘This is what a wife should do’ or ‘This is how a husband should behave’ becomes the script that runs your marriage. If you want to experience all the joy that God designed for you to have in marriage, it starts with winding back your expectations. The reality is that no marriage can thrive under the weight of another person’s expectations. Release your spouse from the weight of expectations and let them become your dream-maker.

Are You Marryable?

By Tomi Toluhi • October 1, 2024
The key to being truly ready for marriage is maturity. Drawing from biblical wisdom and practical insights, it covers three essential areas for a successful marriage: spiritual growth, emotional resilience, and practical life skills. Whether you’re single, dating, or engaged, this video offers valuable guidance to help you prepare for the lifelong commitment of marriage.
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